Monday, May 3, 2010

Train of Thoughts

People always think I'm either really crazy or really mad about something. Whether alone or not, I am constantly laughing to myself over some hilarious past happening, imagining some alternative reality where life is a musical, or a combination of the two.

If I'm not thinking about these things, then I have a Normal Face, much like yours, Reader. Because my general state-of-face looks like I'm about to barf laughter all over you, when I do have Normal Face, nearly every person I know asks me what's wrong.

How can I answer them? Nothing's wrong, this is just my face!

The worst is when people I don't really know ask me what's so funny when I'm biting my hand to stop laughing to myself.

Obviously, I don't have the time to go into major detail with people I don't know about how my life is littered with so many hilarious anecdotes, I can't even concentrate on any regular task at hand. I think about the most ridiculous things!

For example, this would be a typical train-o'-thoughts:

This morning, I had to walk by a construction site. I put my head phones on so I wouldn't have to deal with the hassles of gross old guys. This hasslin' business is a catch-22, because I shake my head in disdain at them if they do (I'm very fancy), and spend an hour in front of the mirror examining why I'm so hideous if they don't. And then I'll ask Marty like infinity times, which doesn't tend to make for good dinner conversation.

Well, while I was walking, my eyes were tearing up over the beautiful song "Hello", by Lionel Richie, that was playing. Except it was being sung by the Glee Cast, which makes it even more ridiculous, so right away I'm already a gaylord and it's like 8 AM. So then the guys start whistling at me, and my musical brain is like:

"Hello? Is it me you're looking for??

I can see it in your eyes.... I can see it in your smile. You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are OPEN WIIIIDE...."

And then I can't stop thinking about how absurd this entire scenario is so I start cracking up.

And they have no idea! They think I'm giggling and blushing because they're whistling so they're high fiving each other, and I just want to bring my headphones to the tough guy leader so he can see he's not the one that made me laugh. It wasn't you, it was the Glee Cast, fool.

Then I'll imagine Marty singing the boy parts of this duet to me and this makes me laugh even more because Marty is trés serious.

Then this face that Marty makes will pop in out of nowhere. It kind of looks like this:

Which brings me then to the most hilarious skit on snl of all time

Please watch it. I think about this skit often, and make Debbie Downer or better yet, CLIFFORD (!!!!) faces to myself in passing mirrors, windows...anything with a reflective surface, really and that makes me laugh even harder.

Like I just watched those two videos right now and I'm going to pass out from laughing so much.

By this time, I've rolled into work laughing my head off and everyone thinks this is totally normal. It's a good day.

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