Friday, July 22, 2011

Bump in the Night

Last night, I woke up to Marty flickering the lights on and off, confused and apologetic, but not stopping as I woke up.

“What’s the matter with you? What time is it?”

“It’s 3 am. I’m sorry.” He turned off the lights for the final time and crawled back into bed.

“No, but, like.. why did you do that?” I persisted.

“I saw something...”

“What did you see?”

“Oh. A..head,” He replied, “It didn’t make any sense.”

I laughed nervously, and tried to keep it cool. “What do you mean you saw a fucking HEAD?? Like a human head? Where?!”

He replied that he saw it in the corner on the right, which means by the door. That makes things a little bit better, since I sleep on the window side and Marty sleeps on the door side, meaning The Head will attack him first, giving me ample time to run around its body-less form. I’m not sure how this attack plays out, it’s late, ok?

He casually looks over his shoulder a couple of times, just to make sure, and then drifted off to sleep as I lay awake, wondering how he could be so cool about it. Then I realized that he wasn’t looking by the door when he was flashing the lights, or when he was looking over his shoulder; he was looking directly to my side of the room. His right. The Head is on my side of the room. He is resting easy because that rat bastard knows I’M THE DECOY. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep very well last night.


One time, I tried to get my parents to protect me from Night Time, and they chased me back to my room and laughed and laughed at me while I cried and cried. They laughed so hard, my dad went downstairs and grabbed the camera to capture the moment for the rest of my life. That’s when I started thinking, “this IS kind of funny, I guess.” and laughed along with them. I see it, a little girl comes into your room crying for monster protection but she has A MULLET, there’s teeth everywhere on her face, and she is dressed like she is about to leave for a speedwalk. How does one get past that? I know for sure I would have reacted the same way.

Anyways, recently I asked my dad for some childhood pics to put up for my upcoming nuptials, and this is what he sent:

Thanks, dad.